Fearless Friday 5.15.15 (Okay to Not be Loud and Sassy)

Me and London Dunes with blog address
Happy Friday, my beautiful positively optimistic & powerful people!

This Fearless Friday, I don’t necessarily have a fear to share, but I do have more of a realization that came to me today after I found what’s sure to be one of my new favorite blogs, Sophistishe, via a post that I was reading on another one of my fav blogs, Dear Dumplin.

The professional lifestyle blogger behind Sophistishe is Sheena, who describes herself as “a free spirited mama, dreamer, and wannabe hippie.” She’s been in the blogging game for over 10 years according to her bio and it shows. She’s an ambassador for many brands and is clearly racking in the advertisement dollars. Her blog and the snippet of her personal journey that she shares in her bio are inspirations for me; they just make it abundantly clear that you can be yourself and still make your dreams come true…you just have to put in the time and work.

It’s a pretty simple realization, but for most of my life, I believed that I couldn’t be myself and still be happy or successful. I remember feeling like I was already doomed because I was born a girl. Too many times to count, my father would talk about how women are dumb, useless, and inferior to men. Even though he would sometimes say that I was the exception, I still felt like I would never be good enough in his eyes. Clearly, he had some personal issues going on that began long before I was born that created that type of misogyny, but that didn’t make it any easier to ignore, especially as a young girl.

Whether it was because of my home life, my natural disposition, or a mixture of both, I’ve been introverted plus extremely shy and self-conscious for most of my life (fyi not all introverts are shy and self-conscious). Even though I’ve always known (even if I didn’t know how) that it’s possible to build confidence and self-esteem, it’s been harder to let go of the belief that my  natural tendency to listen more than speak and observe before jumping into the action was a major handicap. After all, it seems like we live in a loud-spoken, fearless person’s world. Although I’m amazed at how far I’ve come in being more confident, assertive, and self-assured, I don’t think I’ll ever be an Oprah Winfrey. I don’t have that natural confidence and boldness that just exudes from everything I do without trying. I have to continually work at it…hard. blog address

On top of all of that, I’m far from the typical girly girl. I can’t remember the last time I had my hair and nails professionally done (I’d LOVE to, it’s just not a priority) and shopping is definitely not one of my favorite activities (because of other childhood trauma lol). Better yet. I’m far from the stereotypical black girl. As I more than hinted at earlier, I’m far from loud and sassy–well, I guess I am a little sassy once I let my guard down ;).

Yet, even with all of my calmly sarcastic quirkiness, I’ve realized that there is a place for me. There’s a place for everybody. Whether we are the “free spirited mama, dreamer, and wannabe hippie” like Sheena from Sophistishe or the party-loving professional who’s never seen without make-up and Louboutins, guess what? There’s room for all of us to lead happy and successful lives just by being the most confident versions of who we are. We all make the world go ’round. We’re all necessary.

Tell me all about any realizations you’ve had or how you guys and gals are staying fearless this week in the comments or on Facebook! Happy Friday my popped loves 😉

6 thoughts on “Fearless Friday 5.15.15 (Okay to Not be Loud and Sassy)

  1. Shahidah says:

    I think I spent years trying to fit a mold other people had for me. to say a good chunk of my life was stressful is an understatement. I felt like a fraud. Sounds silly but it was being a mother that helped me to embrace all of me. I always had a love affair with my blackness but ran from stereotypes in this ‘other’ driven society . Working in some corporations I let them dictate how I should feel about myself. But teaching my children our history and understanding my culture and who and what I came from…it just made me fall in love with myself. I know it sounds silly lol

    Liked by 3 people

    • poppedblackwomanblog says:

      No it doesn’t sound silly at all! I can relate to that. I started seeing life and myself in a whole new way after having my daughter. I wanted to deal with my own issues more than ever because I wanted to be someone that she could look up to. The thing with trying to fit into someone else’s mold that doesn’t really fit is like “damned if you do and damned if you don’t.” It’ll never be a perfect fit so why not at least make yourself happy 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. locz4lyfe says:

    Well said. I was just having this conversation with my son about being comfortable being authentically you, whomever that may be. For me it got easier the older I’ve become!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Frugal Fab Mommy says:

    “You can be yourself and still make your dreams come true.” Love it! I appreciate the honesty in your post. I too grew up being introverted. It wasn’t until I became an adult with responsibilities and life goals that I realized I needed to be more outgoing, assertive and risk-taking.

    Liked by 1 person

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